It’s only been a few days since the moot ended, but already I feel strangely amiss; as if I suddenly don’t know what I’m supposed to do without the constant pressure and need to compulsively research international law.

Last week my team and I traveled to DC for the international rounds for the Jessup. Though we spent the vast majority of the time holed up in the Hilton, we did get a few days to wander through beautiful DC. I had forgotten how beautiful the US can be – blue skies, clear air.. aaaaaahh.

Naturally, being a bunch of lawyers-to-be, our first stop was Capitol Hill and the Supreme Court. While we were in the city, the Supreme Court heard oral arguments on “Obamacare”. Unfortunately, by the time we visited – the hearings were over. Nonetheless, it is impossible to stand in the quiet marbled halls of the Supreme Court and not feel some measure of awe.

Speaking of awe, the Jessup is a pretty amazing competition. This year was the largest ever, and stepping into the ballroom on the first day was a bit overwhelming. Until then, I don’t think I fully appreciated the extent of the competition. Most inspiring was the all-female team from Baghdad, and a team from the Occupied Palestinian Territories (who won the Spirit of the Jessup award this year).

Jessup is an amazing experience. Yes, there is unending work, pressure and anxiety. Sometimes you feel the pang of regret for signing up (particularly during the exam season). But there is no thrill like the courtroom, with nothing but your wits about you. This was one of the most intellectually rigorous challenges I’ve ever faced.. and to be frank, I’m not sure anything else in law school compares.

And lastly, to my amazing teammates; and the dream team. It has been an honor.

Today also marks a very important day in my law school career. The last day of elections. Huzzah!!! I haven’t written much on this, but for the past year, I’ve served as President of the GLSA (Graduate Law Students Association). It was definitely not a role I thought I would take on. In fact, it was a bit insane trying to juggling GLSA and mooting.

It hasn’t always felt like a natural role. I am by nature, a people-person, but I’m definitely someone who feels more comfortable behind the camera than in front of it (hence, the photography). And I think it’s also somewhat true that female leaders tend to lead by consensus.

When I think back on this past year, there are moments when I grimace at my mistakes, and others when I’m genuinely proud. On the whole, it was a growth experience that I am grateful for. I’m also grateful for the team we’ve had this year and the extraordinary number of projects that have been accomplished. We re-branded the organization and launched the website, organized social events, and panels. Next Saturday marks our first moot competition and the Gala dinner, which officially marks our handover. We also launched the GLSA Gazette, which is my baby and pet project. What I am truly excited about is that the GLSA went from a committee of 6 to an organization of nearly 50 with three sub-committees, and has created a lot more opportunity for students to get involved.

There is no denying that there is some measure of relief with passing the mantel on. In the long run, I think the contributions I made are small. But if I helped create opportunities for students to explore and use their talents, that is enough. And it’s enough to know that I have given my best, and have tried to learn from my mistakes.

I’m looking forward to having more time to do what I love. I don’t imagine there to be a lot of free time (with preparing for Washington, and beginning my dissertation.) But I think the key to staying sane and happy, is to do what you love and do it often. Before I began photography, I wrote. I stopped because I got too self-conscious, and because there seemed to be no theme to my blogging. But self-consciousness and theme be damned. What is the point of having a blog if you’re never going to write in it?

So here’s something that I did recently that I love and made me happy. I made 54 mini cupcakes last night. Mm… nonom.

And in case I (or anyone else) ever need a reminder.. I ought to have this framed somewhere in my house so I can be reminded often.

Things have calmed down just a bit for me this week. We have a few days to breathe before moot practice goes back into full swing in preparation for Washington. And I have time to muse on how drastically my life has changed in the past two years.

Here’s how most of my friends thought of me in 2009:

(image by Arthur Tien who is an amazing illustrator. Known also to his friends as the Prince of Cake)

Before law school, I lived in Beijing and weekends were not for readings but for adventures. I went on long bike rides, stumbled across hutongs being torn down, climbed on rooftops and ran around with my camera.

Life revolved around travel and photography. No scheme was too insane to embark upon. Like the time Hubert and Karim decided to bike home: from Beijing to Paris. Or when Joel and Youngcall decided to start their own hotel. There was so much creativity, energy and optimism. Everyone was chasing after their own vision, which ranged from scaling Everest to being a business owner.

There are of course days where I look back with nostalgia, when I miss being on the road. When I deliberately avoid my camera or my portfolio for months, because the ache seems to make the pile of readings grow bigger and more insurmountable.

But what I miss most, is the variety and the feeling of being around lots of young, creative people all doing their own thing. It is interview season for first years, and as a second year student – I have much sympathy. Everyone is applying to the same firms, and chasing the same thing. The competition can be ferocious and draining. I’ve often said the key to law school is maintaining perspective. In the long run, we all find our place and purpose.

As for me, I sorely miss my life as a photographer. And though I might sigh or look back from time to time – there are definitely no regrets. There is not a shade of doubt in my mind that I was meant for the law. I’m just incredibly grateful for the chance to have had the opportunity to explore and travel prior to grad school.

Most of all though, I miss my Beijing family. Especially this girl: who is as wild and passionate about life as anyone could be, who never ceased to drive me crazy but also is one truly amazing friend.

Yup. That’s a picture of me. Sitting on top of a small mountain of books. At this point, more caffeine and red bull runs in my veins than blood.

The reason law students punish themselves year after year like this? The Jessup Moot. A moot is essentially a mock trial competition, based on a hypothetical situation. There are two aspects: a written submission (called a Memorial) and oral advocacy. The Jessup is the largest moot competition in the world, representing over 80 countries. I was thrilled to make the team this year, but that feeling was quickly replaced with the realization of how overwhelming the workload can be… on top of all my classes.

That is how I came to spend a 16 hour plane ride to the States over Christmas standing in the back of the plane pouring over law books, and living with my teammates for the past two semesters out of the moot room. And I do mean that in the literal sense. The final push was getting our written submissions out, and we spent the last 48 hours locked in the law building hammering the thing out (without sleep).

You don’t realize how creepy the law building can be until you have to find your way to the bathroom via light from an iPhone because the power is shut off for the holidays….. yeah.

Yesterday was a big day for us. It was the Hong Kong regional competition. The winning team would fly to Washington DC to proceed with the finals. I had been so nervous about this, because I’ve never done anything it this before. Other than a little Model UN in High School and the odd debate in 9th grade (which I fully admit, I was really bad at, and still cringe at the memory).

To my amazement, I didn’t pass out or break down when it came to my turn before the judges. It was a huge achievement just to come this far, and to take part in the Jessup. I told myself I had accomplished what I set out to do – to gain a rich experience in law school and learn advocacy skills first hand.

I was not prepared for the result.

Our team won every match in the competition, including best Applicant Memorial, best Respondent Memorial, Best Speaker, and Hong Kong Round Champions. Next month.. we’re going to Washington!!!!!

With two of my favorite girls in law school. Two of the smartest and most talented women in HK

And finally, ending with a shot of where it all began. It’s not over yet, and there’s still a long way to go. But for now, I’m still in shock and humbled that we will be able to continue with the Jessup. It’ll be another grueling month of juggling classes, student council, the law journal and everything else. At the very least, it’ll be an adventure

This was the last photograph I took because I wanted to.

It’s always a struggle (and a bit of a cliche) for creatives to walk the fine line of being prolific and being burnt out. While you get better with each shoot, you reach a plateau and discover there is only so much inspiration that you can squeeze out of sheer willpower.

My camera has been sitting in the corner and the only times I would pick it up, was because I had to. I never thought I would resent it, (I mean, imagine being forced fed chocolate. Hard to think I would normally have a problem with that) but I did. Not photography itself, but the gnawing guilt that I wasn’t putting enough into my creative side and it started feeling like a chore.

Something has to change.

I miss the love. The compulsion. The well-worn grip of my camera being a comfort in my hand. I miss the feeling that I was constantly taking pictures with my mind’s eye, even if there wasn’t a camera in sight. And I miss seeing things like the image above. Where a noisy, crowded street could become quiet and beautiful just by the light.

To say that I’m burnt out, would be a bit of an understatement. I desperately need a break. Most of this is to do with school and extra curriculars but there’s been a lot going on lately. It’s not just in photography, although it manifests itself most obviously here.

The last 2 months have been an enormous struggle. I’m not much of an exhibitionist and am generally very shy about delving into too much personal stuff but sometimes you hit the wall and realize there needs to be a change.

So, I’m taking a break from commissions, and going to shoot only personal projects for a while (if at all). I might post them, I might not. I’m going to spend more time with the people I love. I’m going to put my nose to the grind stone, hammer out what I need to for exams, moots, applications, and make it through to Christmas… and hopefully not collapse

And I’m going to write more. Before there was photography (and the internet), there was pen and paper. I used to scribble furiously (not saying that any of it was good) but it was a release. I’m going to write more about stuff, rather than make this just a place where I post pictures I’ve taken.

A friend of mine once mentioned that personal blogs without a theme, generally devolve into a mass of angst and stupidity. Generally… I sort of agree. I don’t have a lot of patience for them. And I really don’t like drama.

But I have a lot going on outside of photography – and every now and then I think: “that might be fun to blog about”. I come across recipe blogs, career blogs, blogs on creative writing… So.. I’m just going to write. And post. Some of it might be about school, some about stuff in HK.. and I’m going to climb out of the box I’ve put myself in.

We’ll see where this all goes.

Around the fifth month or so, I start to feel the usual restlessness, a sense of frustration like being crammed in the back seat of a packed car on a long road trip. It’s one part claustrophobia, and two parts wanderlust.

Between the three internships, classes and exams this summer, there hasn’t been much time left for R&R. Thankfully I was able to block off a few days. There was a lot of last minute emails, and fighting the ever-present feeling that maybe something had slipped between the cracks, I crammed some clothes and my photography gear into a rucksack and hit the road.

10 hours later, I got off the overnight bus at 5AM and found myself back in Yangshuo.

AAAHhhh.

Despite having lived in a city my whole life, I cannot wait to get away. There is something about getting back to nature, hitting the trails on a mountain bike or spending the day rock climbing that no spa or retail therapy can ever replenish for me.

I wiped out speeding downhill on my bike, am slightly bruised and cut from an intense climb, and I can’t tell you how good it feels.

It feels like like the last few months were an unending blur of deadlines, exams and work (which it was). But having a few days to get back to my roots, travel, climb and photograph… I’m feeling like myself again.

This comes a tad late, but I was interviewed on Lifestyle Asia recently. Seeing your name in print is a foreign experience for me – particularly if it’s about photography. I think because photography so intensely personal to me. When you invest so much of yourself into your work, its hard to hand it over to others to be critiqued and judged. It’s something I’ve always wrestled with.

I’m immensely humbled by the kindness so many people have shown me. The constructive feedback which has helped me grow in leaps and bounds. And at the end of the day, art is meant to be shared, not locked away in some girl’s hard drive.

This article focuses on an aspect of my work that I often forget to blog about. My support of various NGOs, and the occasions which I’ve been privileged to see a side of life I wouldn’t otherwise have an opportunity to capture.

As for a personal update, summer has blazed by in a dizzying speed. I’m currently in the middle of my law degree and have had not one, but three internships this summer lined back-to-back.While taking part-time classes. Now that it’s late August, and school is just around the corner, I can scarcely believe I made it through.

I’ll be heading out of town for a few days to get some much-needed R&R. I find if I don’t leave Hong Kong every few months or so, I go a little stir-crazy. Much as I love this city, the materialism and pace inevitably wear me down. I’m looking forward to a few days of mountain biking, rock climbing and drifting lazily down a river in a bamboo raft. Aaaah.

Is there anything as luxurious as lingering over high tea with a good friend?

I snapped a few shots today with my iPhone – nothing fancy. The tea and scones more than made up for my lack of SLR-ness.

This brings me back to my favorite memory of my grandmother, at high tea at the Peninsula. I remember her as a wild child disguised in pearls. She taught me that the best lived-life is finding peace with contradiction: success is managing a series of failures. Wealth is giving generously and freely. A rebel can still be a lady.

High tea is a rare reminder for me to slow down and remember the important things in life. I am so thankful for the wonderful people who encourage me and keep me grounded. And of course, girl friends to giggle with and savor the rare tranquil moment in an otherwise hectic life.

The Graduate Law Student Association threw a big Gala Dinner recently and naturally, there was… a CRAZYBOOTH! I love me some CRAZYBOOTH action. I’ll keep this entry short and sweet, and let the photos do the talkin’.

This is a pretty photo-intensive post, so loads more after the jump

We had this amazing student performance, from the second act of Swan Lake. The girls were amazing. Can we say… CLASSY???

It’s hard to tell who’s enjoying this shot more…

This is Clement. He brings me cookies. He is my favorite person in the JD

And naturally… our e-board!!! What can we say? We like each other … a lot

… except maybe for Sylvia. hehe

GORGEOUS!!!!

Meet Victor and Rezida. Our resident GQ couple. RAWR.


Our outgoing and incoming external VPs…. ’nuff said.

You know your law degree is on the line, when two of your professors walk into the CRAZYBOOTH. Luckily I haven’t been kicked out .. yet.

What a night! I’m so honored and thrilled to be on such an amazing e-board. Some truly fun-loving and fabulous people.

The first few strides of a race are pure adrenaline. I barely feel the track and wonder if my legs are actually sprinting or just wildly flailing. My stride feels freakishly long to me but I in the corner of my eyes, I see the others give way to nothing but the red track. Can I actually be ahea….? Then, the fumble. Quite literally tripping over my own feet. That sinking realization that I was right.. my strides were freakishly long. I stumble and hit hit the track, but before I allow myself time to hear a response from the stands (probably a roar of laughter) I throw myself back up right and towards the girls who had by now, obviously run past me.

I am a sprinter. I love the sensation of running, but asthma and pitiful endurance sort of restricted my track and field options. On the flip side, I loved the intensity and excitement of sprinting. The seconds at the starting line, waiting for the horn alone was one of the most electrifying feelings. There was no strategy, no careful calculation, conserving energy and pacing yourself as you ran around the track. It was all over in a few seconds. You threw everything you had into one moment, and you made it count.

In many ways, being a sprinter is an instinct I have to fight against. Particularly in law school. Law school is not some mad dash in one blaze of glory. It’s a slow grind.

I’ve just made it through my second semester. This summer is going to be equally packed with internships and classes. It all begins on Monday. We got one (measly) week off to recuperate before launching back into the thick of the JD. I can hardly believe how fast it’s gone by.

I once read that the mark of a great leader is one that looks out the window during success, and into the mirror when there’s failure. I think that is really wise. While the term grades haven’t come out yet, I am taking this opportunity to take stock of how this past year has been.

I struggle with the urge to sprint. When I find something I am deeply passionate about, I feel an irresistible urge to pour everything I have into it… and then run the risk of burning out. Three quarters into a semester, I always feel completely drained, like there is no way I can slog through another case, or have the mental fortitude to keep all the balls up in the air.

My very favorite person is a runner. A long distance runner. There are so many ways that I wish I were more like him, but particularly with the marathon-mentality. When I’m rattling off my latest hair-brained scheme, or overloading on side projects, he raises an eyebrow and reminds me that I need to pace myself. To keep my eyes fixed on the finish line, not just the next 100 meters.

I find that I may stumble and indeed often fall. But having amazing people in your life make all the difference. They teach me how to handle both success and failure with grace. What I remember from that race in high school, what I’m most proud of.. is not the gold medal I eventually won the end. Rather the knowledge that despite stumbling, I picked myself up and finished the race.

The irony is.. I don’t think anyone other than me remembers that I fell.