This was the last photograph I took because I wanted to.

It’s always a struggle (and a bit of a cliche) for creatives to walk the fine line of being prolific and being burnt out. While you get better with each shoot, you reach a plateau and discover there is only so much inspiration that you can squeeze out of sheer willpower.

My camera has been sitting in the corner and the only times I would pick it up, was because I had to. I never thought I would resent it, (I mean, imagine being forced fed chocolate. Hard to think I would normally have a problem with that) but I did. Not photography itself, but the gnawing guilt that I wasn’t putting enough into my creative side and it started feeling like a chore.

Something has to change.

I miss the love. The compulsion. The well-worn grip of my camera being a comfort in my hand. I miss the feeling that I was constantly taking pictures with my mind’s eye, even if there wasn’t a camera in sight. And I miss seeing things like the image above. Where a noisy, crowded street could become quiet and beautiful just by the light.

To say that I’m burnt out, would be a bit of an understatement. I desperately need a break. Most of this is to do with school and extra curriculars but there’s been a lot going on lately. It’s not just in photography, although it manifests itself most obviously here.

The last 2 months have been an enormous struggle. I’m not much of an exhibitionist and am generally very shy about delving into too much personal stuff but sometimes you hit the wall and realize there needs to be a change.

So, I’m taking a break from commissions, and going to shoot only personal projects for a while (if at all). I might post them, I might not. I’m going to spend more time with the people I love. I’m going to put my nose to the grind stone, hammer out what I need to for exams, moots, applications, and make it through to Christmas… and hopefully not collapse

And I’m going to write more. Before there was photography (and the internet), there was pen and paper. I used to scribble furiously (not saying that any of it was good) but it was a release. I’m going to write more about stuff, rather than make this just a place where I post pictures I’ve taken.

A friend of mine once mentioned that personal blogs without a theme, generally devolve into a mass of angst and stupidity. Generally… I sort of agree. I don’t have a lot of patience for them. And I really don’t like drama.

But I have a lot going on outside of photography – and every now and then I think: “that might be fun to blog about”. I come across recipe blogs, career blogs, blogs on creative writing… So.. I’m just going to write. And post. Some of it might be about school, some about stuff in HK.. and I’m going to climb out of the box I’ve put myself in.

We’ll see where this all goes.

Around the fifth month or so, I start to feel the usual restlessness, a sense of frustration like being crammed in the back seat of a packed car on a long road trip. It’s one part claustrophobia, and two parts wanderlust.

Between the three internships, classes and exams this summer, there hasn’t been much time left for R&R. Thankfully I was able to block off a few days. There was a lot of last minute emails, and fighting the ever-present feeling that maybe something had slipped between the cracks, I crammed some clothes and my photography gear into a rucksack and hit the road.

10 hours later, I got off the overnight bus at 5AM and found myself back in Yangshuo.

AAAHhhh.

Despite having lived in a city my whole life, I cannot wait to get away. There is something about getting back to nature, hitting the trails on a mountain bike or spending the day rock climbing that no spa or retail therapy can ever replenish for me.

I wiped out speeding downhill on my bike, am slightly bruised and cut from an intense climb, and I can’t tell you how good it feels.

It feels like like the last few months were an unending blur of deadlines, exams and work (which it was). But having a few days to get back to my roots, travel, climb and photograph… I’m feeling like myself again.

This comes a tad late, but I was interviewed on Lifestyle Asia recently. Seeing your name in print is a foreign experience for me – particularly if it’s about photography. I think because photography so intensely personal to me. When you invest so much of yourself into your work, its hard to hand it over to others to be critiqued and judged. It’s something I’ve always wrestled with.

I’m immensely humbled by the kindness so many people have shown me. The constructive feedback which has helped me grow in leaps and bounds. And at the end of the day, art is meant to be shared, not locked away in some girl’s hard drive.

This article focuses on an aspect of my work that I often forget to blog about. My support of various NGOs, and the occasions which I’ve been privileged to see a side of life I wouldn’t otherwise have an opportunity to capture.

As for a personal update, summer has blazed by in a dizzying speed. I’m currently in the middle of my law degree and have had not one, but three internships this summer lined back-to-back.While taking part-time classes. Now that it’s late August, and school is just around the corner, I can scarcely believe I made it through.

I’ll be heading out of town for a few days to get some much-needed R&R. I find if I don’t leave Hong Kong every few months or so, I go a little stir-crazy. Much as I love this city, the materialism and pace inevitably wear me down. I’m looking forward to a few days of mountain biking, rock climbing and drifting lazily down a river in a bamboo raft. Aaaah.

Is there anything as luxurious as lingering over high tea with a good friend?

I snapped a few shots today with my iPhone – nothing fancy. The tea and scones more than made up for my lack of SLR-ness.

This brings me back to my favorite memory of my grandmother, at high tea at the Peninsula. I remember her as a wild child disguised in pearls. She taught me that the best lived-life is finding peace with contradiction: success is managing a series of failures. Wealth is giving generously and freely. A rebel can still be a lady.

High tea is a rare reminder for me to slow down and remember the important things in life. I am so thankful for the wonderful people who encourage me and keep me grounded. And of course, girl friends to giggle with and savor the rare tranquil moment in an otherwise hectic life.

The Graduate Law Student Association threw a big Gala Dinner recently and naturally, there was… a CRAZYBOOTH! I love me some CRAZYBOOTH action. I’ll keep this entry short and sweet, and let the photos do the talkin’.

This is a pretty photo-intensive post, so loads more after the jump

We had this amazing student performance, from the second act of Swan Lake. The girls were amazing. Can we say… CLASSY???

It’s hard to tell who’s enjoying this shot more…

This is Clement. He brings me cookies. He is my favorite person in the JD

And naturally… our e-board!!! What can we say? We like each other … a lot

… except maybe for Sylvia. hehe

GORGEOUS!!!!

Meet Victor and Rezida. Our resident GQ couple. RAWR.


Our outgoing and incoming external VPs…. ’nuff said.

You know your law degree is on the line, when two of your professors walk into the CRAZYBOOTH. Luckily I haven’t been kicked out .. yet.

What a night! I’m so honored and thrilled to be on such an amazing e-board. Some truly fun-loving and fabulous people.

The first few strides of a race are pure adrenaline. I barely feel the track and wonder if my legs are actually sprinting or just wildly flailing. My stride feels freakishly long to me but I in the corner of my eyes, I see the others give way to nothing but the red track. Can I actually be ahea….? Then, the fumble. Quite literally tripping over my own feet. That sinking realization that I was right.. my strides were freakishly long. I stumble and hit hit the track, but before I allow myself time to hear a response from the stands (probably a roar of laughter) I throw myself back up right and towards the girls who had by now, obviously run past me.

I am a sprinter. I love the sensation of running, but asthma and pitiful endurance sort of restricted my track and field options. On the flip side, I loved the intensity and excitement of sprinting. The seconds at the starting line, waiting for the horn alone was one of the most electrifying feelings. There was no strategy, no careful calculation, conserving energy and pacing yourself as you ran around the track. It was all over in a few seconds. You threw everything you had into one moment, and you made it count.

In many ways, being a sprinter is an instinct I have to fight against. Particularly in law school. Law school is not some mad dash in one blaze of glory. It’s a slow grind.

I’ve just made it through my second semester. This summer is going to be equally packed with internships and classes. It all begins on Monday. We got one (measly) week off to recuperate before launching back into the thick of the JD. I can hardly believe how fast it’s gone by.

I once read that the mark of a great leader is one that looks out the window during success, and into the mirror when there’s failure. I think that is really wise. While the term grades haven’t come out yet, I am taking this opportunity to take stock of how this past year has been.

I struggle with the urge to sprint. When I find something I am deeply passionate about, I feel an irresistible urge to pour everything I have into it… and then run the risk of burning out. Three quarters into a semester, I always feel completely drained, like there is no way I can slog through another case, or have the mental fortitude to keep all the balls up in the air.

My very favorite person is a runner. A long distance runner. There are so many ways that I wish I were more like him, but particularly with the marathon-mentality. When I’m rattling off my latest hair-brained scheme, or overloading on side projects, he raises an eyebrow and reminds me that I need to pace myself. To keep my eyes fixed on the finish line, not just the next 100 meters.

I find that I may stumble and indeed often fall. But having amazing people in your life make all the difference. They teach me how to handle both success and failure with grace. What I remember from that race in high school, what I’m most proud of.. is not the gold medal I eventually won the end. Rather the knowledge that despite stumbling, I picked myself up and finished the race.

The irony is.. I don’t think anyone other than me remembers that I fell.

Not too long ago, I photographed Karla + Jeffrey in Hong Kong. One of my favorite images from their shoot was a photo of them cuddling underneath a banyan tree.

Karla is an amazingly talented graphic artist, and she made this rendition of my image which I thought was too cute not to share. Check out more of her work on her tumblr.

I really do have the greatest clients

Been a while since I’ve had a chance to post, so I’m delighted that this update has good news!

If you’re in Toronto by any chance next week, swing by the exhibition being held by Wokai. Wokai is a great microfinancing NGO that I came to support in China. They’re featuring some of my work, proceeds of which will go towards creating micro loans for the rural poor.

I am a big believer in sustainable development, and am blown away by the amazing men and women that make Wokai such a dynamic organization. Wokai means “I start” in Chinese and has been making great progress in rural areas in China.

I am so thrilled to be supporting their effort. And it really brings together my biggest passions: development, China, and photography. I’ll be in Hong Kong during the exhibition (unfortunately), but if you are able to make it, I’d love to hear your thoughts (and maybe see a few snapshots of the venue? )

I watched as he anxiously fidgeted with his chopsticks, then the napkin, and take a sip of water. He cleared his throat. I grinned. I had known Jeffrey since high school, and I had never seen him as such a nervous wreck. But then again, I had never seen him smitten before. Our food arrived and we chowed down. Well, I chowed down. Jeffrey talked.. and talked… and talked about this mythical creature. I imagined something of a mermaid or an angel. Maybe a unicorn.

I leaned on my elbows and went into Eva Chan, MD mode. As in Doctor Looooooove. I’d like to think what emerged was this mind-blowing fount of wisdom, but I suspect it was more of a feminine and slightly hyper version of Asian Dr. Phil.

I’m not sure how amazing my advice-giving was, but a year later over dinner, I was introduced to Karla by a beaming Jeffrey. The man was literally unable to sit still because he was so excited. And who could blame him? She’s his angel.

Karla and Jeffrey, it has been such a blast hanging out with you guys. I have never in all the years I have known Jeff, seen him so happy. When a couple is so in love, I believe my job as a photographer is to just get out of the way. You guys radiate happiness, and it’s infectious.

Doesn’t she have the most gorgeous eyes and hair?

This is the Jeff that I know and love. Couldn’t help but sneak a shot in

Positively angelic.

Much love to you both.

xox,

Eva

There was a genuine richness in experiences this year unlike any other. It’s not the traveling, or the grad-schooling. It was the relationships that were formed. I went to Beijing expecting to improve my language skills and maybe do some traveling on the side. It was supposed to be a study-abroad experience. Too long to be just a tourist, but not long enough to set roots down. I did not expect the depth of my friendships, how much Beijing came to feel like home, and how hard it would be to leave. They are the most amazing of people. People whose adventures sprint off the beaten track, whose stories wind around the globe several times over, and inspire me to think outside the box, and to fix my horizon on more than just the conventional.

As much as I miss them, I am so excited to be back in Hong Kong, and at the start of what has been my lifelong dream. A few weeks ago, my brother sent me this youtube video. There is something in the simplicity that resonates with me. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched it.

If new year is about forming resolutions, then this video summarizes a life resolution. What I want my life to look like if I were to play it in fast-motion when I’m old.

Life should be a wild, passionate dance around the world, even when it looks crazy to outsiders looking in. It’s not about the places you go, but the people who join you along the way. When you set off in search of your dreams, it is always risky. But if you are really lucky – you will find truly amazing people who will join in with the same wild abandon.

May 2011 bring you one step closer to your horizons. To my incredible friends, who have inspired, supported and believed in me, I love you all. Fiercely. Whether you are in Hong Kong, Beijing, New York, Vancouver, Toronto, Florence. You will always have a place to stay… wherever I happen to be for the moment.

Much love,

Eva